Monday, March 13, 2006

Happy Days good to be back home. Back in my little bed, all curled up and ready for a good night's sleep. It's too bad I seem to have developed a bad case of insomnia. Oh well. I'll keep myself busy.

These past couple of weeks have been good to me. With the exception of a few (actually several) arguments with my parents about disrespecting the rules of the house and ignoring the rules of the society we live in. Yeah, whatever. I honestly don't know where my parents think they live. I've also been going through a hard time trying to decide whether to quit my job or stick to it. I really don't know. But all that seems ok in the light of day. Why you ask? Well..maybe it's the ultra-sexy, ultra-soothing voice of Mr. Howie Day blasting from my stereo, or it could be thanks to another gentleman who's been keeping me company. Yeah people...I'm still so in like.

How wonderful is it to feel cared for? Fabulous I say. Absolutely fabulous. You tend to forget how wonderful it really is be with someone who makes you happy, someone you're perfectly happy to sit next to and say nothing but feel a connection slowly building in the undertones of the whole experience.

Recently, I've been finding it hard to come up with something to write about. For some reason my stories about reckless alcohol consumption and nights on the town seem less compelling than before. For example, I could be writing about how I fell off the chair at a fairly empty pub earlier tonight when I decided to stand up and lip sync the lyrics to a popular Coldplay track (yes, embarrassing). But instead, here I am at 5 in the morning talking about a connection that has come out of nowhere and made me focus on less trivial things going on in my life. I want to sit at my laptop and bitch about this and that, but I can't get myself to do it. AND I'M USUALLY SO GOOD AT THE BITCHING! Kinda sucks, but I'm sure I'll get my groove back...just like Stella.

Why am I sharing all this with you? I really don't know. Maybe it’s just because I'm going through a different kind of happy right now, and I seem to find it pretty cool. Happy is always good, but a different kind of happy is just…different. It mellows you down as a person and somehow winds you down; you're still the same person, but more content at one level. Changes come and go very quickly. I’ve come to realize that to make most out of your life, you have to keep your eyes open for these changes so when they do come, you’re there…mind and body…and you can fully grasp the intensity of what’s going on around you.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Blame Canada

Greetings from Canada.

Been away from the homeland since Friday night on a nice little getaway with the family. An excuse to shop like a mad person really.

So being all the way up north sort of clears your mind. I think it's the cold air or something of that sort coz things really do seem a lot more vivid. In the past few days, I've reassessed my career (or lack thereof), my past/current relationships (friends, parents, boys) and my taste in broccoli (can anyone say YUMMY??). My horoscope claims that this year is going to be marvellous, fabulous and all that. I think so. I can feel something brewing around me (might turn out to be the northern winds but I'm willing to keep my fingers crossed). So I'm thinking, is this a case of self-fulfilling prophecy, or am I gonna crash and burn and end up having a year worse than 2005? Can’t be. I would die. Better yet I would kill myself. Slit my wrists maybe...or hang myself from the balcony rail. Nah…too dramatic. This will be a good year. Yeah...this will be MY year. Thank you Semisonic.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Lifestyles of the Rich & Moronic

I went to this engagement dinner party last night and Oh My God!

Let me begin by explaining what an engagement dinner party is. It's when you invite 100 of your "closest" friends and relatives to the stiffest restaurant you can find and give them a venue to shmooze and talk about their new media job. I do have to point out that I did in no way choose to go to this piece of shit engagement but it was more of a favor to my parents. Not that I don't wish the future bride and groom the happiest of fairytale lives..I just really couldn't give two shits about last night's social scene.

The girl getting engaged went to the same high school I did. We were never friends but were fairly decent to each other. To my great joy she'd invited some of her school friends, people I haven't seen in years (totally by choice) and again, Oh My Freakin God. Picture this. The girls on one side of the room, wearing the lamest of pink floral dresses, posing for pictures like they're actually hot (ya right), pouts and big ass hair. Hmmm. The guys right across, all decked out in their black designer suits looking all sharp and jagaly. Of course, looking at the guys you really couldn't tell one from the other since they all stood the same way, one hand in their pocket, slight slouch, whiskey glass in the other hand, and their cigarette or cigar of choice.

What happened to you people? I distinctly remember being 17 and 18, watching you play fuck the tree and laughing your ass off thinking it was the funniest shit ever. I also remember playing ja7sheh with a whole bunch of you and taking piggyback rides on quite a few of your backs. Seriously, what happened? All this of course was topped off with 32 or so 97 year old ladies with big hair, bright red collagen injected lips, and cleavage no one really needs to see.

My sister stood by me all night, revolted almost as much as I was, and explaining how you know you're getting old when your school friends start going bald. I was seriously considering slitting my wrists just to get out of there. I went to the same school as these people, hung out at the exact same places, and grew up in the same environment. So why do I have no interest in posing for pictures like a moron, and eyeing the guy sucking on the cigar in the corner of the room? Am I missing a gene, was there something in the water at my house growing up? Where along the line did I choose leading a life so different from these fuckers? And was it a choice I made consciously or did it just happen? Why was I not standing there talking about my complete career shift a few months ago and my new media job?

I've always thought that my school was the most kickass school in Beirut. I know that people generally saw us as spoiled rich kids, but we never saw ourselves that way. We were just fun and open-minded school kids. Turns out everyone grew into the spoiled rich kid image, and I'm still running around in my flip flops.